Thursday, December 29, 2011

Cavegirl: Julie Ege 4

We found this image of the gorgeous Julie Ege, in a publicity shot for Creatures the World Forgot, in an old ccopy of Men Only magazine in an article on Hammer starlets.  We don't recall seeing it before.  It is from the shoot that was done before filming, as in the actual production she wore a dark wig.  Splendid!

Friday, December 23, 2011

Cavegirl: Holly Valance

What better way to sign off for Christmas than with these pictures of the newly engaged  (to a billionaire businessman) actress and singer Holly Valance, promoting tonight's guaranteed twenty five £1 million pound lottery prizes.  It is good to know that somewhere there are people in advertising agencies who when asked to think of how to promote the lottery instantly start thinking about Holly in animal skins. No doubt it is some deep association with the words "one million" and cavegirls that does it.

Recently we have been admiring the lovely Holly's lithe form in Strictly Come Dancing but we have to say she looks good dressed in animal skin as opposed to all those sequins. 

She is perhaps a little overdressed but we think she makes an excellent cavegirl and quite happily award her an 8/10

Monday, December 12, 2011

Cavegirl Art 15: Cartoon from Mayfair 1969

Run spouse!  The Saxons are coming!

Here is a somewhat anachronistic cartoon from Mayfair magazine Volume 4 number 4 (April 1969).  Anachronistic, of course, as at the time the Saxons were raiding Britain (circa 300AD) everyone would have been wearing natty striped trousers and plaid tunics not caveman type attire.  Still, the spouse is a perfect cavegirl type so she deserves her place here!

Monday, November 14, 2011

Cavegirl: Valerie Leon in Carry On Up the Jungle

Usually when we look at a cinematic cavegirl we first examine the cavegirl film she appeared in.  However, in the case of Carry On Up the Jungle (1970), it isn't a cavegirl film at all and whilst possibly coming under the Lost World and definitely the Jungle Girl categories it really doesn't justify a seperate entry.  We will, therefore, confine ourselves to examining the superlative gorgeousness of Valerie Leon as the leader of a tribe of Amazons.

Briefly, the film tells of an ornithological expedition to Africa financed by Lady Bagley (Joan Sims) to find her husband and son who have been missing in the jungle for years.  Accompanied by White Hunter Bill Boosey (Sid James), ornitholigist Professor Inigo Tinkle (Frankie Howard - brilliant) and his assistant Claude Chumley (Kenneth Connor) they get captured by a tribe of cannibals known as the Noshas but are rescued by the women of the Lubby-Dubby tribe from the Lost World of Aphrodisia.

L to R: Howard, Sims, James and Leon

Despite being totally studio bound this is one of the better historical Carry Ons.  This was Leon's fourth Carry On and she would go on to make two more. 

Born almost exactly 67 years ago on 12th November 1942 she was the daughter of an actress.  The twenty year old Valerie was working as a trainee fashion buyer at Harrods when she played truant to attend an audition for the stage production of The Belle of New York.    By the following year she was on the West End stage with Barbra Streisand in Funny Girl. 

She started to do some small roles on TV (The Saint, The Avengers) and had her first big screen appearance in 1967.  The following year she appeared in Carry on up the Khyber (1968), possibly the best of the Carry On films.

For Agent Triple P she is best remembered as the girl in the series of Hai Karate aftershave TV commercials which ran from 1969 until 1975, where, driven wild by the aftershave, she would thrust her impressive cleavage towards the camera.  The appearance of a new one would be much discussed at school!  The nurse's outfit was a favourite!

Magnificent in Blood from the Mummy's Tomb

Although she would continue to have small roles in the seventies and early eighties, including the James Bond film The Spy who Loved Me (1977) and the "alternative" Sean Connery Bond Never Say Never Again (1982), her crowning cinematic achievement would be her dual roles starring in the Hammer horror Blood from the Mummy's Tomb (1971).

The Lubby-Dubby tribe costumes are obviously modelled on Raquel Welch's fur bikini from One Million Years BC (1966), complete with diagonal strap between top and bottom.  

Part of the way through the film she changes to a more typical Lost World queen outfit, sadly, although it is, at least, briefer than her rather too concealing cavegirl outfit which is more a dress than a bikini.

Nevertheless we can't give her anything less than 8/10 as a cavegirl!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Cavegirl: Sharon Engert

Here are a few pictures of "actress and model" Sharon Engert as a cavegirl.  Actually, Sharon's acting experience appears to be confined to one film called Play-mate of the Apes (2002) where, interestingly, she co-stars with Misty Mundae, star of Bikini Girls on Dinosaur Planet (2005) which we will look at in due course.

From Play-mate of the Apes

The film does, incidentally, feature several cavegirl-type women but as it is a parody of Planet of the Apes rather than a cavegirl film we don't think we will bother to try and acquire it.

Much of Miss Engert's modelling seems to be for certain bondage-focussed websites where she demonstrates a number of agonised looking expressions (possibly a requirement for this sort of thing).  Perhaps that is the acting talent?

There are more pictures available in this series but frankly we didn't think that she was worth joining a pay site for to access them as she is far too plastic-looking for Agent Triple P's taste.

Although some of these pictures are quite nice (particularly the one above) we are afraid that we have to give her a silicone-reduced score of 5/10.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Beach Babes 2: Cavegirl Island

No cavegirl film is ever going to win an Oscar but, at least, sometimes we can hope to enjoy an hour and a half of pre-historic babes in animal skin fun with, hopefully, a few very un-historic dinosaurs thrown in.  At best we get a be-skinned heroine who renders the surrounding film largely irrelevant as she lights up the screen whenever she is on it to the exclusion of pretty much else (Raquel).   At a lower level we might get a nice girl in an attempt at an animal skin bikini but in a film hampered by a lack of budget so, perhaps, moving our cavegirl to the present (for example, Teenage Cavegirl).

When we reviewed Teenage Cavegirl we gave it three stars, imagining, perhaps, that it would be nigh on impossible to find a worse cavegirl film.  How very wrong we were, because here comes Beach Babes 2: Cavegirl Island (1998) which makes the original Hammer cavegirl trilogy look like Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings by comparison.

Two out of three of our alien babes wonder why the other has dumped all her clothes

Trying to describe the plot is pointless but it is something along these lines: Three alien girls from an earlier film Beach Babes from Beyond (1993) (except two out of three of them aren't the original actresses) crash their very small and cheap looking spaceship on a beach.  One of the three has disappeared and finds a local caveman.  The others find some cavegirls and start dancing (there is a lot of dreadful dancing in this film).  The other two girls then find their own cavemen whilst a villain tries to capture them for his bordello theme park (I think).

The main big-budget set.  Why highly technological aliens need a ghettoblaster to provide music isn't explained

There is no production design to speak of (the cavegirl village consists of one hut and a few bits of tiki sculpture), the cavegirl costumes are terrible, the acting worse (with the honourable exception of Sara Bellomo; which is surprising as she was a porn star under the name of Roxanne Blaze) and the plot is nonsensical. 

No with a film like this it is the simulated sex scenes (of which there are a lot) which count.  Fair enough if that is your market but in the case of the DVD it has been cut which means that most of the sex scenes have been replaced by, wait for it, extracts of the girls dancing from earlier in the film. 

Fun with a banana: but not on the DVD

Yes, not cut completely but replaced by totally visually irrelevant material.  Amazing!  We gather that the sex scenes in the original version (including an infamous banana sequence) were not bad and, actually, the bits that remain are filmed quite nicely in flattering lighting.

The film was made in 1994 but not released until 1998, which says a lot.  Directed by Roger Corman-trained schlock-meister David DeCoteau (under one of his female noms de plumes, Ellen Cabot), who has over eighty films to his credit.  Like Teenage Cavegirl, most of the exterior scenes were shot in Bronson Canyon. Los Angeles.

Chamois rather than fur bikinis

So, all in all the uncut original version probably rates a 2/10 but the ridiculously edited DVD version (which is the same in the US and the UK) rates only 1/10 (and that is largely because of the stop-motion dinosaurs brought in from another film).

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Cavegirl Art 14: A trio of Frazettas

Primitive beauty 11"x18" (1969)

We have put very little Frank Frazetta art on this blog which is odd, as his cavegirls are very much the ne plus ultra of cavegirl art.  Perhaps it's because his pictures are so well known that they seem a little obvious to include.  There is no denying their quality, however, so we thought we'd post these three fine examples.

The colour painting, from the late sixties, was originally published in black and white as the centrefold in a very short-lived (2 issues!) Frazetta fanzine published by Vern Coriell.  It was later released as a full colour poster in 1973.  She is, of course, noticeably missing a fur bikini and her metallic bracelet and earrings suggest that she is more a lost-world type of cavegirl than a prehistoric one, although she is carrying a workmanlike stone tipped spear.  Her full frontal appearance is reasonably unusual for Frazetta.

This drawing is from slighly earlier, 1965, and has the cavegirl rather better dressed than her coloured equivalent.   Again she has what look like metal bangles to go with her stone-age spear.

Our final cavegirl displays some wonderfully rendered fur around her hips, even if she has decided to dispense with a top.    Again, there are hints at non-prehistoric adornment but she is probably the most prehistoric of the lot, however.  The low angle viewpoint gives her a very purposeful look.

All in all the trio have to get a cavegirl score of 9/10.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Cavegirl: Senta Berger

Having examined her two Italian cavegirl films (Quando le donne avevano la coda (1970)  and Quando donne le persero la coda (1972)) in the last two posts it is time to look at the luscious Senta Berger in all of her cavegirl glory.

Her costumes from the first film, When Women had Tails, are even more minimalist than those worn by the Hammer heroines as they seem to be composed mainly of knotted string and a few bits of animal skin.

The dangling "tails" add the requisite untailored and savage look as well as emphasising the movement of her splendid body.

The glory of her cavegirl look is, however, her magnificent mane of red hair. Redheads.of course, evolved (or, rather, mutated) comparatively recently and were confined to Northern Europe so we can't give the producers many points for historical accuracy here! 

The obvously Mediterranean setting of the film doesn't look much like Scandinavia, where her outfit wouldn't have given her much protection from the Ice Age weather!

Beneath this mane of hair her loincloth was enticingly minimalist!

Even more minimalist was her second costume in the film which was constructed from a few strips of animal skin.  One of the most original and effective cavegirl outfits in the history of the cinema!

So, all in all her cavegirl costumes in the first film are just excellent!

The second cavegirl film she made, When Women lost their Tails, had a very different visual look, not least because it was shot solely in a studio, on one set.

Her look in this film was much more "civilised" (although to be fair that was part of the theme of the film) and although she still had her long red hair it was now artfully curled and less straggly.

What a beauty!

She had two main costumes in this film as well.  The first was a black and white number with enticing cut-outs.

The second costume was a more conventional cavegirl outfit of a low cut skin top with a long white fur fringe over an animal skin loincloth.

Both outfits are cute but they cover much more of her up than in the first film so our vote has to go for the costumes from When Women had Tails.

Senta Berger was born in Vienna in 1941 and first appeared on stage at the age of four, singing with her father, a musician.  Her first acting role, as an extra, was at the age of nine.  Later she took acting lessons and her first proper film role came in 1957 when she was sixteen.  A year later she joined the Josefstadt Theatre in Vienna.

From a shoot done in Mexico at the time of the filming of Major Dundee

Many of her early films were musicals but in 1962 she went to Hollywood where she made a number of films as well as continuing to work in Germany, France and Italy.

Senta in The Ambushers

Publicity still from The Man from Uncle

Triple P remembers her from the Dean Martin starring Matt Helm film The Ambushers (1967).  She also appeared in The Man from Uncle and the pilot episode of It takes a Thief on TV as well as, more bizarrely, singing on The Rolf Harris show (1971) on UK TV (it was a German co-production).

Senta looking particularly voluptuous in Sam Pekinpah's Major Dundee

Other major film roles at this time included Major Dundee (1965), The Quiller Memorandum (1966) and Cross of Iron (1977).

After the seventies most of her work was in Europe but she continued to work regularly in TV, theatre and film and has two movies in post-production currently.

Senta in Roma Bene (1970)

In the Seventies Senta was happy to get her clothes off for the film cameras, we are glad to say. 

Since 2003 she has been the president of the German Film Academy which is responsible, amongst other things, for the German Film Awards.

Senta last year; still looking fantastic at the age of 69

All in all we can't fault Senta as a cavegirl (particularly in her first pre-historic epic) and have to give her a 10/10.